


runaway stars

by museaway



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Happy Ending, Hospitalization, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nurse Keith (Voltron), Pilot Shiro (Voltron), Pining, Reunions, Second Chances, if canon doesn't spark joy write fic that does, temporary roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:20:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/museaway/pseuds/museaway
Summary: Five years ago, Keith accepted a nursing job on a remote space station to get away from the reason for his broken heart. But Shiro comes back into his life when his ship crashes, and he's brought to the hospital where Keith works. As it turns out, Keith's feelings weren't so one-sided after all.
Relationships: Background pre-Lotor/Allura, Keith/Shiro (Voltron), References to Lotor/everyone, mention of past Shiro/Adam
Comments: 41
Kudos: 191
Collections: Black Paladins Bang 2020





	runaway stars

**Author's Note:**

> My sister is an RN and consulted on the hospital and nursing details in this fic. Since this is set in a pretend hospital in space, she gave me the green light to do what was convenient for the story.
> 
> Written for the [Black Paladins Bang 2020](http://blackpaladinsbang.tumblr.com/). Beta read by Riathemai. Art by paintstrokes. 
> 
> **Head's up about the content:** Mentions of injuries/blood following a crash and unnamed character deaths.

The longer Keith worked in space, the more days seemed to run into one another.

At first, he'd been diligent about keeping Earth time: checking off the passing days on a paper calendar he'd brought with him to the station, keeping the battery charged on his watch. On Sundays, he wrote Hunk an email and sent back photos of the hospital's mysterious cafeteria food. A week in, he'd learned to stop asking what the daily special was. Hunk had never stopped being fascinated. His reaction always marked the start of the week.

Keith was good about remembering birthdays and holidays. He set up a homemade Christmas tree the first year, which he’d pieced together from green food packaging. He'd flown home that winter, sick as hell for two days from hyper drive, but he'd dragged himself out with Lance and Hunk, who'd discovered all of the good drinking spots off base while Keith had been gone and were hell bent on taking him on a bar crawl. That had been his first and last trip home.

They'd asked him to come home plenty since then, but he gave excuses about the ICU being understaffed or about saving up for the down payment on a bigger apartment. That wasn't exactly a lie. His was about the size of his bathroom back home, enough room for a twin bed and to hop into scrubs. It wasn't bad. All he did there was sleep, and the station had plenty of open space. After all, they floated in the middle of it.

But sometimes he longed for a place like the shack his dad had left him back on Earth. He’d sold it once he had his nursing degree and the Garrison offered him a five-year position at the hospital on Sincline station. There hadn’t been a reason to let the shack sit empty, and Keith didn’t want to bother being a landlord a galaxy away. The money from the sale was sitting in the bank. Everything worked on credits out here. The Garrison had paid for his trip out and covered basic expenses, which meant living in a shoebox.

He’d forgotten his own birthday last year. It had come and gone, another day in space. Keith wasn’t even sure how old he was anymore.

He was in the cafeteria taking a picture of a green dish that sort of resembled lasagna when his phone went off. An emergency rescue team was inbound and he was being pulled to the ER. Keith shoveled three bites of the green whatever-it-was into his mouth so he wouldn't pass out and ran for the elevator without tasting it.

“What's going on?” he said, approaching the nurse’s station in the ER.

Two of the Altean members of the nursing team were staring at the monitor. Lotor, Keith’s superior who was wearing tailored navy scrubs and draining a mint-green milkshake through a straw, looked up first.

“Crew of an exploratory mission,” he said. “There was some type of explosion and they lost life support. We’re the closest facility.”

“How many people?”

“The entire crew,” Romelle said, looking at him over her shoulder. “Thirteen.” Her light hair was wet from the shower and she’d put on clean scrubs, but Keith could see the dark circles under her eyes. ER was her specialty. She’d trained him when he’d arrived on the station. From the looks of it, she’d be working a double today.

“When's the last time you slept, darling?” Lotor said to her. “You look like death.”

“We can't all be as naturally beautiful as Keith.”

“I know, I am fortunate,” Lotor said.

Romelle gave him a stern look. “You know I don’t like food at this station.”

“Is a milkshake actually food, though?”

“Are the rooms restocked?” Keith said.

“The aides turned them over already,” Romelle said. “The doctors are on their way in; OR’s being prepped.”

“I can't remember the last time we had a full ER,” Keith said, glancing toward the doors leading to the emergency dock. The hospital was busy, but being in the middle of space, it had nothing like the rush of an ER on Earth. Most days, the dock doors didn’t open. He’d only worked the ER a handful of times in five years. “I'm guessing this means overtime.”

Lotor crossed his legs where he sat on the counter. “I've told you, if you want a bigger place, you can live with me.”

“And mooch off of your dad? No thanks.”

“There's nothing wrong with accepting something being handed to you.”

Keith didn't feel like explaining that it wasn't Lotor's father who was the problem but the endless string of partners who left Lotor's apartment every morning. The aides always gossipped before the first shift meeting.

“You're not my type, if that eases your mind,” Lotor added.

“Relieved.”

Lotor smiled. “It's a good thing your bedside manner is more pleasant than your actual personality. You remind me of my mother.”

“Bet she'd be thrilled you said that.”

“My mother is a genius. You should be flattered by the comparison.”

Keith gave Lotor a bored look. “What planet is this mission from?” he said.

“Earth, I believe. I overheard my father say it's the _Atlas_. Don’t you know their pilot?”

Keith felt a cold jolt in his chest. “We—we were friends for a lot of years. He taught flight back when I was in training.”

“The universe is small, isn't it?”

“They're here,” Romelle said, getting up.

Keith didn’t have time to be nervous. Within a minute, the light above the dock doors turned from red to purple, signaling the air lock had been closed and oxygen had been pumped into the dock. Lotor disposed of his empty cup and hopped down from the counter as the white doors opened.

A paramedic team guided in the first gurney. The person lying on it was soaked in red blood. A human. They wore the standard-issue black boots and orange uniform Keith kept shoved in the back of his closet. Although the person’s face was obscured by an oxygen mask, Keith could see blond hair and realized he’d been holding his breath.

“Take them to room one,” Lotor said and continued to direct the next three gurneys as they came through the doors, then followed after them. Keith assisted the next two, getting them to rooms five and six, but the seventh person through the door made his stomach drop.

He recognized Shiro instantly and felt foolish for thinking that the first person could have been him. Shiro's eyes were closed. Like the others, his clothes were bloodstained, and the visible skin on his face had little color.

“Romelle, you take this one,” Keith said.

“Is that your friend?”

“Yeah. It'd be better if I don't…”

“Of course. I’ll go with these. Get the remainder settled.” She touched his arm and followed after Shiro’s gurney.

Keith moved between his four rooms. He got the patients hooked up to vital monitors and started IVs. Body temperature and blood oxygen levels were low. The paramedics had checked them in-transit for bodily injuries: three needed stitches, the fourth had second-degree burns from the impact, but they were all breathing on their own.

Lotor's father, the hospital director and a physician himself, came in to assist. Keith was so busy he didn't have time to think about Shiro down the hall. Romelle was an excellent nurse, the most experienced of the three of them. Keith had watched her treat her own brother without flinching, but Keith was no Altean. His Galran blood ran hot. He was glad for the distraction four patients gave him and buried himself in routine.

* * *

Five of the thirteen died that afternoon. They'd all been younger than Keith, so he hadn't known them when he'd done a rotation at the Garrison base on Earth. By the time the relief shift arrived, Keith was ready to collapse. He didn't know how Romelle was still awake. She asked if he was all right, then went home for the night.

“They'll all be admitted and moved to ICU tomorrow,” Lotor said.

Keith nodded.

“How's your friend?”

“Romelle said he's stable.”

“Are you going to sit with him?”

Keith stared at the seventh door.

“You'll be furious with yourself if something happens,” Lotor said. “Don't stay too late. And don't forget to eat again.”

Keith went to the staff room for his things and almost left for home from there, but what Lotor said bothered him. Over the years, he’d taken care of many people who had died. Whatever rules he’d created to protect himself when he left Earth didn’t apply anymore. Lotor was right. If anything happened to Shiro during the night, Keith would wish he’d had the chance to say goodbye. Shiro was still unconscious. He wouldn't know Keith was there. Keith would check his chart to put his mind at ease, then go home and sleep.

The night shift was moving quietly between the rooms, checking vitals and administering pain medication to the ones who were moaning. Keith stood outside of room seven with a hand to the door. It had been years since he and Shiro had seen one another. The last time had been a couple days before Keith left the planet. Shiro had been assigned to a long-range exploratory mission and had been scheduled to leave not long after him. Keith always hoped he might send pictures, but the longer he went without hearing from him, he came to understand that even though Shiro had treated him as a close friend, Keith had been just one of many people in his life. He was probably married by now, and for that, Keith was glad if it meant Shiro was happy.

The floor was quiet. He pushed open the door and stepped inside. The ER rooms were about the size of his apartment, large enough for a compact chair beside the bed and a person to stand on either side. He didn't sit, but picked up Shiro's chart. His right arm had been crushed in the crash. They’d stopped the bleeding, but he'd need major surgery to repair it. The damage was beyond regeneration. He’d broken three ribs and had a cervical fracture. Romelle had immobilized his head, which was positioned within a regenerator. The pain meds would keep him sleeping for a while.

Keith had seen his share of injuries and death since entering the medical field, but he wasn’t prepared to see Shiro looking so fragile. The sight of him with his head in that machine and intubation tubes in his mouth made Keith’s knees buckle.

Carefully, so it wouldn’t make a noise, he moved the chair closer to Shiro’s head so he could watch the regenerator’s monitor. It would be days before it could repair the fracture, but as long as there hadn’t been nerve damage….

“Didn’t think we’d see each other so soon,” Keith said quietly.

He twisted his hands together and watched Shiro breathe. The machines attached to him beeped and beeped and beeped.

* * *

That night, he dreamed of their last day on Earth before he’d transferred to Sincline.

Shiro had been on planet and they’d gone drinking—the same dive bar Keith had picked the night he turned twenty-one. They should’ve invited the others, but Shiro had swung by the hospital after Keith’s shift and offered him a ride home. He was still in scrubs and wanted a shower, but something about the way Shiro looked at him made Keith say yes. He’d climbed onto his bike and held on tighter than he’d ever allowed himself. It didn’t matter if Shiro was bothered by it now. In a couple days, Keith wouldn’t live on Earth anymore.

Shiro picked a table instead of sitting at the bar. They’d gone drinking together enough times that Keith knew it meant Shiro wanted to talk. According to Lance, the rumor on base was that Shiro’s long-time boyfriend had been promoted, and they would be co-piloting the new Altean-Earth hybrid ship.

But instead of talking, Shiro wrapped his hands around his beer and looked at the peeling laminate table, the stools blooming foam where the vinyl had split, the bathroom door hanging by its top hinge. Everywhere but at Keith. At one point he got up and challenged a Galran to a round of pool, leaving his leather jacket on his seat. There was a bulge in the pocket. Keith’s mind spiraled into theories about an engagement ring, of seeing pictures of the wedding months from now when Hunk was sure to send them.

Shiro left the beer half drunk and whatever he’d planned to tell Keith unsaid. He walked him to his door with the excuse that there’d been more break-ins around the area lately.

“Write me sometime, okay?” Shiro said.

“Yeah.” Keith put his arms around him. Since he was leaving, he had nothing to lose by saying it once. “I love you.”

Shiro stilled. He wrapped his arms around Keith’s back and patted it gently. “I love you too, buddy.”

Keith’s heart sank and sank and sank until it was in his feet. He laughed. It was either laugh or cry, and he wasn’t doing that until Shiro left.

“Good luck out there,” he said, punching him in the shoulder. “You’d better not end up in my hospital.”

* * *

Shiro was still asleep the next morning when Keith clocked into the ICU. The eight remaining members of the _Atlas_ crew had been moved into the unit overnight, bringing them up to sixteen patients. Lotor was running late as usual—probably seeing off last night’s fling. Keith spoke with the night staff before they went home and briefed the aides before he started the morning med pass.

He didn’t have any of the dread he’d felt walking into Shiro’s room yesterday. The station wasn’t near a star, but since most of the patients came from worlds with something like night and day, the virtual windows simulated a light cycle, growing dark after half the length of an Altean day, or roughly sixteen hours on Earth. It was designated morning on the station now, so the displays glowed a faint rose.

Shiro looked less sickly in the artificial daylight, though it made the dried blood stand out. Keith cleaned it from his face. They’d shaved a patch of his scalp to suture it, but the remainder of the hair on that side was matted down. Shiro’s dark hair made it hard to see the blood. Keith kept wiping until a cloth came away white. He wiped down his hands and left arm, and each of his fingers. His right arm was too heavily bandaged; he left it alone. Keith was cleaning behind Shiro’s ear when he heard someone in the doorway.

“My, my, my,” Lotor said. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you so attentive.”

Keith didn’t turn around. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Don’t get defensive. It’s unattractive. I didn’t expect to see you in here. Romelle said you asked to be unassigned to him yesterday.”

“I didn’t want to leave him like this.”

He could hear Lotor examining the chart, the muted _click_ the screen made as he turned the pages.

“Apparently my mother saw him during the night,” Lotor said. “He’s on the waiting list for a prosthetic. It’ll be a few days before she can have one fitted for him. Humans tend to be more comfortable with you, but if it’s a problem…”

“It’s not,” Keith said.

Lotor hummed. “Is he the reason you never sleep with anyone?”

Keith walked past him out of the room. He put the soiled cloth down the chute and washed his hands. “I’ve already checked on the others,” he said.

“Why don’t you get a cup of coffee? Stretch your legs.”

“I’m fine.”

“Then bring me one—the coffee shop on level thirteen. Caramel macchiato and one of those delicious breakfast sandwiches.”

“We have coffee in the staff room,” Keith said.

“I don’t want synth; I want the real Earth stuff.”

“They don’t taste any different.”

“Here’s my chip,” Lotor said, pressing it into his hand. “Get something for yourself as well. I don’t want to see you for at least half a varga.”

In spite of how he acted, Lotor was technically his superior. Keith glanced at Shiro's door. “Please page me if anything happens,” he said and walked toward the elevator.

When the metal doors closed, he caught his own reflection in them and realized why Lotor had sent him on a break. He yanked out the hair tie and smoothed the top and sides of his hair before securing it behind his head. There was nothing he could do about the dark half-moons beneath his eyes, but he clapped his hands to his face in an effort to wake up.

There was a line at the coffee stand. Of course Lotor’s favorite had to be the most popular. People came from all floors. They were only open in the mornings and it was always a ten-minute wait. Alteans couldn’t get enough whipped cream and ordered it on everything. Full-blooded Galra were sensitive to caffeine, leaving Keith and Lotor as the only ones on the station who could tolerate espresso; the others drank theirs diluted and sweetened. The humans stationed here had all gotten used to the fake stuff, which woke you up just as well and was a fraction of the price.

He ordered Lotor the largest macchiato, and got a plain coffee and the pancake platter for himself. The bacon wasn’t real, but only a human would know that. Keith grabbed a seat beside the observation window. Unlike the digital ones, it actually looked out on space. He checked his messages while he ate. Both Lance and Hunk had written to let him know about the accident. He couldn’t confirm that Shiro was at the hospital, so he just wrote back “Thanks.”

He left Lotor’s coffee and sandwich in the break room and resumed his rounds.

* * *

The next few days passed similarly. A Galran nurse called Yorak worked alongside Keith on Lotor’s days off, and when he was back, it was Keith’s turn for a break.

“I’ll let you know if anything happens,” Lotor said, which was his way of telling him not to come in.

Keith knew he needed sleep. He smiled and thanked him, stopping by the grocery store on his way back to his apartment. There was a communal kitchen on his floor, but he rarely used it, buying most of his food prepared. He picked up something for dinner and breakfast, eating on the tray beside the bed while he watched the classic Earth movie channel that streamed the kind of titles his dad liked.

Keith had never thought he’d have time with Shiro again, not like the old days when they’d meet after a night shift or run into each other getting takeout. Once Shiro was fitted with a new arm, he’d need rehabilitation, and with the tech being specific to this station he’d almost certainly do it here. That could mean months of seeing him. Seeing them _both_ , if….

Keith put it out of his mind and prepared for bed, switching off the lights. The sim window displayed the moon above Earth.

* * *

The following afternoon, Keith was on a late break after being on his feet for seven hours and so cranky that Lotor had sent him to eat. He’d swallowed a couple bites of his sandwich when he received the message that Shiro had regained consciousness. Keith shoved the remainder into his mouth and bolted from the cafeteria.

Shiro was sitting up, speaking with one of the Altean physicians. They’d removed the intubation tubes and regenerator. His neck was in a brace. Lotor stood beside the bed. When Shiro noticed Keith standing in the doorway, he stopped talking and his face brightened.

“Keith?”

“Hey.”

Keith nodded to Lotor that he would take over. Giving Keith a sly smile, Lotor said to Shiro, “You're in capable hands.”

After he left, Keith administered pain medication under the physician’s new orders and made note of Shiro's temperature and heart rate. Shiro glanced at him every couple of seconds and smiled. The physician continued to ask questions for a few minutes, then left them alone. Once the door was closed, Keith felt put on the spot. His face immediately flushed. It was hard to look Shiro in the eye, but he forced himself to do it, and once their eyes met, he remembered how easy it had always been to look at him.

“I must have scared you. I'm sorry,” Shiro said.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I crashed my ship into an asteroid.” Shiro’s smile flickered. “I was going to ask the other nurse once the doctor left. Can you give me an update on my crew?”

As the captain, Shiro was entitled to that information. Keith pulled a chair alongside the bed. He’d always hated this part of the job.

“Five of them didn't make it,” he said. “All but one has regained consciousness.”

He was quiet while Shiro processed that. Shiro nodded slowly and covered his face with his left hand.

“I've navigated something like that a hundred times,” he said.

It was normal for pilots to second-guess themselves after an accident. Keith couldn't remember one who hadn't. Shiro cried, not wiping away the tears as they fell onto the pale blue hospital gown. After a while, Keith touched his arm.

“The guys back on Earth have been asking about you. Can I let them know you woke up?”

“You still talk to them?”

“Sometimes.”

“Tell them I said hello.”

“Sure.”

“Are you...are you going to be the one…”

“If it makes you uncomfortable, we can assign you to another nurse. I'm usually assigned to humans by default.”

“No, I'm glad it's you.”

Keith nodded, feeling a little happy to hear Shiro say that. “Is there anyone I can contact for you?”

“No.”

“What about…” Keith stopped himself before he said the name out loud.

“No,” Shiro said again. “The Garrison will have already contacted my family.”

“Of course,” Keith said, feeling foolish he hadn't thought of that. A social worker would be in to speak with Shiro at any time. It was standard procedure after something like this; they’d probably recommend sending someone down from psych. Keith patted Shiro's arm and stood up. “If you need anything, there's the call button. I'm just down the hall. We do checks every hour.”

He smiled at Shiro and turned to leave. He had a hand on the door and was pushing it open as Shiro spoke again.

“I'm not with him anymore.”

Everything stopped. For a few seconds, Keith was only aware of his heart rate and the sound of his own breath. He couldn't turn around. If he took his hand off of the door, he was afraid he’d collapse. There was weight to Shiro’s words, like it had been necessary for him to tell Keith this now and not wait until the next time he checked on him. Keith didn’t want to read too much into it. Shiro was on heavy medication and people tended to be emotional after a crash, but that didn’t stop Keith’s chest from feeling tight.

He glanced over his shoulder. “I’ll be back,” he said.

* * *

The next four times he looked in on Shiro, he was asleep or talking with a therapist. Keith went home that night without speaking to him again, but Shiro was awake the next morning and having breakfast when Keith checked on him.

“You probably get this a lot,” Shiro said with a full mouth, “but the food here is really good.”

Keith smiled. “Anything’s better than what the Garrison puts on their ships. Did you get enough?”

“I won’t be able to finish all of this. Do you want some?”

Keith snagged a pancake from the tray and ate it rolled up. “The guys say hi.”

“Did Lance mention our bet?”

“What bet?”

“Back when I was teaching him flight, he bet me I’d crash first. You know how reckless he is. He’d just crashed the simulator, and I was coming down on him pretty hard. He promised he wouldn’t risk a real ship, said I was more likely to take a risk than him. We were in front of his whole class. I was feeling cocky, so I took the bet. Guess I had to survive so I could pay up, huh?”

Though Shiro was smiling, tears fell from his eyes without him having to blink. Keith sat on the bed and gently hugged him.

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m technically Garrison. Anything you say to me doesn’t leave this room.”

Shiro tucked his face into Keith’s neck. “You smell good.”

“I need a shower, but thanks.”

“I like these scrubs on you.”

Keith shivered and rubbed Shiro’s back. He could feel the tears on his neck, the way Shiro shook throughout his body, trying to suppress them.

“It was an asteroid field,” Shiro said. “I’ve navigated it before. It takes days to go around, and I wanted the crew to get a couple extra days of leave. But we were struck by a piece of debris. You took flight, so you remember how the slightest change…”

Keith nodded and Shiro swallowed.

“We side-swiped one of the asteroids. It took out life support; another one crushed the bridge. We managed to get out an emergency signal and I put the crew in the escape shuttle. It’s got its own life support. I flew it out but must’ve lost consciousness before the rescue team found us.”

“It was an accident,” Keith said. “I know you. You’d never hurt someone on purpose.”

“They had families.”

“The Garrison will take care of them.”

Shiro nodded against his shoulder. “Have they contacted you?”

“I’m sure they’ve been in touch with the hospital. I don’t handle that part.”

“They’ll rule it pilot error. I’m never going to be allowed to fly again.”

“You don’t know that. It’s not worth making yourself upset. All you should be thinking about right now is getting better.”

“They can’t fix my arm,” Shiro said. “They’re going to fit me with a prosthetic.”

“This is the most advanced research hospital in the universe. Dr. H can probably hook you up with some sweet upgrades.”

Shiro laughed a little. “Music player?”

“You’ll have to ask her.” Keith squeezed him and helped him to sit back against the pillows, steadying his head. “Do you want to try and eat more?”

“Maybe later.” Shiro had stopped crying. He wiped his eyes with his left hand. “So you live here?”

“Yeah. Half the station’s residential space, but my apartment’s pretty much a closet. I just go home to sleep.”

“Oh. I guess we wouldn’t both fit, huh?”

Keith blinked. “There wouldn’t be a lot of room, but once you’re discharged, you can come hang out.”

Shiro gave him a funny look, but it melted into his usual expression. “That other nurse seems to like you.”

“Which one, Lotor? Long white hair?” Keith said. “He’s not really my type. His parents own the hospital. Watch out for him. He hits on anything that moves, doesn’t matter what species.”

“I’ll be careful.” Shiro smiled. “It seems like you’re happy here.”

Keith shrugged. “It’s a little isolated. I miss fresh air sometimes, but I’ve always had an interest in astrobio, so career-wise it’s great.”

“I’ll keep you company while I’m here.”

“I’d like that.”

“Anything I can do to convince you to come back with me?”

“Back to Earth?” Keith rubbed his neck and glanced at the window. It had been programmed to look like the Sonoran Desert and was currently red with the sunrise. “I owe my dad a visit.”

“Just a visit? I thought you were only stationed here for five years.”

Keith was surprised that Shiro remembered that. He looked back at him. “I was planning to re-up.”

“Oh.” Shiro thought for a moment. “Well, if they strip my rank, maybe they’ll let me fly the supply ship for the station. Then we can see each other sometimes.”

Keith wanted to argue that the Garrison probably wouldn’t demote him for an accident, but he decided to let it go. “Awesome. I’ll give you a shopping list.”

“Is there something you miss?”

“The Alteans would go crazy for Redi-Whip. We’d make a fortune.”

“Okay,” Shiro said. “We’ll conquer the universe with whipped cream.”

“Deal. Let me get your vitals.”

Shiro was running a low-grade fever. Keith got him comfortable and updated his chart.

“Looks like Dr. H has scheduled your surgery for tomorrow night,” he said.

“The sooner they attach this thing to me, the sooner I can figure out how to use it.”

“I understand they’re pretty intuitive.”

“Will you be with me through rehab?”

“You’ll be assigned to a physical therapist. I’m not trained for it. But I can come with you if it’s my day off.”

Nodding, Shiro looked at his bandaged arm. “Will you be there when they put me under?”

“You’ll already be in surgical by then, but I can stay with you until they take you up. And they’ll bring you back here once the anesthesia wears off.” Keith tucked the chart under his arm and laid a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. “I have to go for a while. Will you be okay?”

“Of course. Don’t neglect your duties because of me.”

“Finish your breakfast,” Keith said.

Two members of the _Atlas_ crew had been moved out of the ICU that morning. They’d spend a couple more days in the hospital, then be set up in temporary housing, probably heading back to Earth with the next supply ship. They were waiting in the hallway outside of Shiro’s hospital room, bruising on their faces almost faded. The visitation rules here weren’t strict, especially not with senior crew. They stood up when Keith stepped into the hallway.

“Excuse me. Captain Shirogane...” one of them said, a tall woman with a stern face, though her tone was compassionate. He guessed she’d probably been the commander. “Are we able to see him?”

“He’s eating breakfast,” Keith said. “I’m sure he’d appreciate the company.”

He smiled at them with the face he always gave to concerned friends and family and went to his next room.

* * *

The next day, Keith finished his regular shift, grabbed a quick dinner in the cafeteria, and met Shiro in his room before he was taken upstairs for surgery. With the level of damage, Dr. H would probably work all night.

Shiro looked excited but nervous, grabbing Keith’s hand when he reached the bed.

“Hey, you came.”

“When have I ever broken a promise to you?” Keith sat down next to the bed. “I’ll meet you back here after you’re out.”

“Do you work tomorrow?”

“Yorak swapped shifts with me. Why?”

“I was hoping you’d be in the recovery room.”

“I’m not family so you’d have to approve it, but I’ll be there if you want.”

Shiro’s eyes widened. “How do I approve it?”

Keith took the chart from the dock on the end of the bed and flipped through to the consent forms. He filled in his own name on the correct one and with a flush on his cheeks, held the device out to Shiro.

“This is strictly for visitation. I can’t make decisions for you or anything like that. Sign there. A scribble’s fine.”

“Could I have you do that? Make decisions for me? I trust you more than the Garrison.”

“Uh. Technically, yeah, but that’s usually something people reserve for, you know. Husbands?”

Shiro gave him a coquettish grin. “Aw, are you saying you don’t want to be my husband?”

Keith coughed to cover how those words affected him. “If you’re serious about me making the calls, I’ll pull up the form, but nothing’s going to happen to you.”

Dropping the play act, Shiro nodded. “I’m serious. I’d really appreciate it.”

Setting his teeth like it would stop him from blushing further, Keith brought up the second form. Shiro signed it and yawned, letting his arm fall back in his lap.

“Thank you. I’m not as worried now.” He took Keith’s hand again. “Hey, if something does happen and I don’t wake up…”

“Don’t start talking like that.”

“Please listen.” Shiro looked him in the eye and smiled, then glanced at their hands. “It was always so easy being with you. I never had to hide who I was. Before I knew it, I was in love with you. I thought you loved me too. I'd been planning to break it off with Adam, but then you said you were leaving to come here, and I worried it was just me feeling that way. That last night we went out, I was going to tell you...but in the end, I was too afraid of what you'd say. Then you said you loved me, only you sounded so sad, I thought you’d figured out how I felt and were letting me down easily.”

Keith could hardly process what he was hearing. “Why…why didn’t you contact me after I left?”

“When I didn’t hear from you, I thought you wanted the distance. Hunk kind of let it slip that you left because of me. I couldn't stop thinking about what you said, but I didn’t want to make things worse for you if you didn’t want me in your life anymore. When I thought I was dying...you were the first person I thought of. I promised myself if I ever saw you again, I’d tell you exactly how I felt. What's more frightening than almost dying in space, right?”

Keith stared at him with his mouth open.

“I could hardly believe it when you walked into my hospital room,” Shiro continued, squeezing his hand. “If I come out of this, please give me a chance.”

Unable to speak, Keith found himself nodding. Shiro tugged his hand, and understanding he wanted him to come closer, Keith shifted to sit on the bed. Shiro reached for his face, brushing fingers across his cheek.

“I’ve wanted to touch you for five years.” Leaning forward, he kissed Keith’s mouth.

Keith kissed him hesitantly, his lips trembling, then turned his face to the side. “If anyone catches us doing this, I’ll probably get fired.”

“Sorry.” Shiro nosed the side of his face. “As soon as I’m discharged.”

A moment later, someone knocked on the door and a team came in to prepare Shiro’s move to the surgical floor. Keith walked with them as far as the elevator.

“I’ll be waiting,” he said.

Shiro squeezed his fingertips and smiled. Keith maintained his composure until the doors closed, then sagged against the wall. He might’ve thought he was dreaming if not for the phantom pressure of Shiro’s hand.

* * *

He went home to shower and got into bed, texting the night staff to ask for an update when Shiro was out of surgery. He woke up before he heard back and was sitting in the surgical waiting room with a double shot of synth when he got the alert.

Dr. H came out to speak with him personally. Keith had only seen her around the hospital a handful of times in the five years he'd worked here. She tended to keep odd hours. If you ignored the purple cast to Lotor’s skin from his Galran genes, it was easy to see the resemblance between them, though she didn’t look old enough to have a grown son.

“Captain Shirogane’s surgery was a success,” she said in near monotone.

“How long until he’s discharged?”

“I’d like to keep him for a few days for observation. It’s unlikely but possible his body will reject the prosthesis. We’ll put him into a regenerator tomorrow to speed up connections. Once his nervous system has naturally attached to the arm, he’ll be able to feel it. His new arm should function much like his other one, with some enhancements.”

“Can he still fly?”

“It shouldn’t impede him. I have patients who have successfully returned to work, but that will ultimately be the Garrison’s decision.”

“Alright. Thanks,” Keith said.

After she’d gone, he finished his coffee and rested his head against the wall. A monitor in the corner was broadcasting Galran wrestling. He listened to it with his eyes closed until someone came into the room and called him by name.

“Keith? I thought that was you.”

He cracked an eye and spotted Allura, the new surgeon from Altea that Lotor ruthlessly pursued, standing in the doorway in pink scrubs.

“Are you here for Shiro?” she said. “I saw your name on the form. I didn’t realize you knew each other.”

“Yeah, we go back a lot of years.” Keith rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Do you know him?”

“I served on the _Atlas_ its first year.”

“Is he in recovery yet?”

She nodded. “He’ll sleep for a while, most likely. Are you planning to wait?”

“Yeah, I’m off today.”

“I’ll take you back if you’re ready,” she said.

An idea came to him. “Actually…” Keith checked his watch. It was still pretty early. “Is the coffee shop on thirteen open yet?”

“It should be. I was just heading there. Why don’t I walk with you?”

“Thanks.” He got up and followed her down the hall. “How are you adjusting to the station?”

“I miss the outdoors,” she said, calling for the elevator. “But it’s a dream to work alongside Honerva.”

People rarely used Dr. H’s name, so it was a moment before Keith realized who she was talking about.

“It’s lucky for Shiro this was the closest hospital,” he said.

The elevator arrived. “How long have you known each other?” she said casually, stepping out into the corridor. Alteans loved their small talk.

“He was my flight instructor back when I was a cadet.”

She hummed. “I’ve heard him mention your name quite a few times, though I didn’t realize you were the Keith he used to talk about until today. A long-distance relationship seems so romantic! I’m not sure I could manage one.”

He didn’t correct her. She ordered a cold coffee with a mountain of whipped cream, and insisted on paying for Keith’s espresso. While the barista, a gray alien with wide-set eyes, made their coffee, Keith leaned on the counter.

“Hey, do you have any Oreos?”

The alien spoke without looking up. “For the right price.”

“I need one pack. Double Stuf if you have them.

“What is an O-re-o?” Allura said, emphasizing the sounds.

“They’re these chocolate cookies. Shiro always liked them. I thought he might want some when he wakes up.”

Keith could practically see the hearts in her eyes as she clasped her hands together.

“A love token! I’ve been watching a good deal of Earth media since I’ve been here. Your courtship rituals are particularly fascinating.”

“Thanks,” he laughed and accepted his coffee from the barista, who held up a package of Oreos like they were about to make the kind of simultaneous exchange you saw in spy movies. He could’ve bought Shiro a four-course meal for the cost, but he happily carried them back up to the surgical floor.

Allura showed him to the recovery room. Keith put on a gown and cap and went in. Shiro was sleeping in the third bed along the wall, so he sat down to wait. He hadn’t been in a recovery room since his dad’s accident—twenty years ago now. Back then, his legs hadn’t been long enough for his feet to reach the floor. Keith leaned over his knees and waited.

Shiro’s new arm lay on top of the blanket. The sleek gray metal had no visible seams and connected to his upper arm just above his elbow. The point of connection was wrapped in gauze. Keith wasn’t sure about the etiquette, but he did know that having someone with you when you woke up kept the stress down for some people. He touched Shiro’s human hand.

When Shiro finally woke, Keith had nodded off, but his eyes snapped open when he heard Shiro laughing.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty.”

Keith rubbed his eyes and sat up. “Hey. Sorry. How long ago did you wake up?”

“A while. I wasn’t sure you’d really be here.”

“Why? I told you I would be.”

“I was worried that I’d ambushed you earlier and made you feel awkward.”

“Even if you had, I still would’ve come.”

Shiro smiled and squeezed his hand. “Any idea how long they’re going to keep me?”

“A few more days.”

“When I get out, can I stay with you?”

Keith tried to imagine the two of them fitting into his apartment. “When I say my place is small, I mean there’s barely any floor space. I don’t even have a chair. I eat sitting on the bed.”

“Can we both fit?”

“Technically, I guess, but with your height you’d be more comfortable in the Garrison housing.”

“I meant on the bed. I’m not worried about standing up.”

Keith couldn’t stop himself from blushing. “You’re supposed to _rest_.”

“That’s what you do in a bed. Or what are _you_ thinking about?”

“It’ll be tight,” Keith said on a sigh, unwilling to give Shiro the pleasure of embarrassing him further. “And I work a lot.”

“I’m used to tight quarters on a ship. And I can find things to do when you’re not there.”

“If it’s an issue with staying on Garrison property, Lotor’s got a big place. I’m sure he’d let you take the extra bedroom.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to stay there with me?”

Lotor would probably use that as an excuse to suggest a threesome.

“If you're that determined to stay at my place, I don't mind,” Keith said. “I just don't want to hear any complaints.”

“Then it's settled.” Shiro smiled, his eyes softening. “I can't believe it took an accident like this to get us talking again.”

“No more of those, alright?”

Like a crack splitting the ground, the smile on Shiro's face faltered. “I doubt you have to worry about that. There's probably a desk job in my future.”

“Would you be okay with that?”

“No, but there's nothing I can do about it.” Shiro nodded toward his new arm and said with forced laughter, “So did they give me laser guns?”

Keith could see what he was trying to do. His instinct was to counter, but Shiro had undergone major surgery and was dealing with trauma Keith could not understand. If he needed to laugh if off for now, Keith would laugh with him.

“Yeah. Planet killers,” he said.

“I could start an evil empire.”

“There goes the universe.” He passed Shiro the package of Oreos. “I got you something.”

Shiro accepted them with a shocked expression. “Where did you find these?”

“One of the coffee shops runs an import business. I thought you might want something from home.”

“Thank you.” Shiro laid the package aside and cupped Keith's face with his left hand. “Please say I can kiss you now.”

Those were words Keith never thought he would hear, not in this lifetime. Not from Shiro. He was stunned for a moment, letting them sink in, recalling the way he’d turned Shiro down last night, but Keith wasn't on duty now. He was here as family.

He scooted closer to the bed, close enough that their lips could touch. He’d kissed plenty of people ever since he’d turned seventeen and found it was a good way to pass the time. He’d even loved a few of them, but no kiss, not even the first, outweighed the feeling of Shiro's mouth against his, the way he pressed forward, bringing his hand up to support Keith's jaw.

Keith felt like he was falling, like the sensation of taking the bike on a nose dive off of a cliff, except he didn't want to pull up. He wanted to spend the rest of his life crashing into him.

* * *

The afternoon Shiro was released, Keith took a rare personal day and carried his things for him on the walk from the hospital to the residential ring. It wasn’t often Keith walked leisurely through the station and had time to appreciate it. The construction was largely Altean design—light metals and reflective surfaces—but there were distinctly Galran features like the purple lighting along the passageways and the dark exterior panels. Signage and stationwide computers used Galran, Altean, and several Earth languages. Universal translators were standard for anyone stationed here.

“Sure you’re okay walking?” Keith said. “If not, we’ve got a monorail that comes around every twenty-five doboshes.”

“I’m fine,” Shiro said, looking at him with a smile. “It’s good to stretch my legs. What’s it like living here?”

“It’s about as great as college dorms, but the communal areas aren’t bad. I don’t have to pay for my place unless I want an upgrade. We’ve got virtual game rooms, a pool, fitness center. Can’t complain.”

“How often do you use those things?”

“I work a lot of hours,” Keith mumbled.

“I’m just teasing.” Shiro bumped his shoulder. “So what’s this area called? What’s the Spacebar?”

“What it sounds like. It’s not a bad place, a little pricey if you want the Earth stuff. That’s where my co-workers usually hang out.”

“We should grab drinks later.”

“You’re on pain medication,” Keith said.

“I’ll drink water. Please, it’s been years.”

“If you feel up to it later, sure. And we usually call this area the mall. It’s where most of the shopping is except for groceries.”

“Imported?”

“Some of it. There’s a farming level. Hydroponics. Mostly Altean species, but a lot of it’s not bad tasting. It’s the texture you gotta get used to.”

“Can you get a decent burger anywhere?”

Keith laughed. “It’s only decent if you’re desperate enough. I haven’t gotten to that point yet.”

“Next time you’re back on Earth, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

They came to a crosswalk between rings and passed from the commercial sector into the residential space.

“From here, it all kinda looks alike,” Keith said, making a right and leading them to the elevator. “I’m on C Deck if you get lost.”

“Got it.”

When they reached the apartment, Keith unlocked the door and let Shiro go in first while he looked for his spare key.

“Wow, you weren't kidding about the size,” Shiro said. “If I could lift my arm, I could touch both of the walls.”

“Are you sure you don’t want your own room?”

Shiro turned around and looked at him. “Do you not want me here? If I’m moving too fast, just tell me.”

“Give me your hand.” Keith put the spare key card in Shiro’s left palm. “This works the elevator too. Make sure you keep it on you or you’ll have to take the stairs, and there are a lot of them.”

Nodding, Shiro put the card with his ID, then slid his bag off of Keith’s shoulder, setting it on the ground. Slowly, he guided his hand down the side of Keith’s face—the barest touch, but Keith could feel his heart beat in his stomach.

“Can we lie down for a while?” he said. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

With a kiss to his cheek, Shiro sat on the bed and patted the space beside him. “Is it okay if you take the outside of the bed? That way my arm’s against the wall.”

“Whatever you want.” Keith sat down, keeping his hands on his knees. “Listen, Shiro…It’s been a while since I did anything like this.”

“Slept?”

Keith laughed and squeezed his knees. “That too. Don’t be disappointed if it’s not what you were hoping for.”

Shiro laid a hand on his. “Are _you_ going to be involved?”

“Huh?”

“There’s no way I’m going to be disappointed. Just getting to sit here…you should feel what my heart is doing.”

Though he felt a little foolish, Keith pressed his ear to Shiro’s chest. His heart was pounding.

“Mine’s doing the same.” Keith sat up and glanced at the pillow. “So are we gonna…”

“You need to sleep. It doesn't look like you've gotten any lately.”

“I'll sleep tonight.”

Shiro looked anxious. “I'm not sure I can do much.”

Keith kissed him and removed his shirt, then put his arms around Shiro's neck. “Can I take yours off too?” he asked. Shiro nodded with his mouth open. Keith unbuttoned the loose shirt and carefully worked it from Shiro's right arm. Underneath he was wearing a black tank. Keith touched the hem.

“I haven't been able to work out lately,” Shiro said.

“You think I care about that?”

“I want you to think I look good.”

“How do I look?”

“Amazing. I've always thought you were hot.”

Keith gave a disbelieving laugh. “No way.”

“I'm serious. If I'd been single when we met…”

Keith pulled the black tank over Shiro's head and dropped it on the floor.

“Pants?” he said.

Somehow they fit on the bed. Shiro lay on his back with Keith on his left side, stroking his hair as Keith went down on him.

“Why didn't we do this sooner?” Shiro said.

“I thought you were getting married.”

“I could kick myself for not saying something before you left.”

Keith smiled. “How does it feel?”

“Incredible.”

“Tell me when you're close, okay?”

He did. Keith kissed him through the end of it, then reached into one of the drawers built into the wall for a towel. He wiped Shiro's stomach and threw the towel aside.

“That was almost worth crashing the ship,” Shiro said, then covered his face. “Sorry. I'm sorry. That was awful. I don't know why I said that.”

Keith had seen grief hit in various ways and laid a hand on Shiro's hair. “Go easy on yourself.”

“Yeah,” Shiro said with false cheer. After a few minutes, he uncovered his face and looked at Keith. “Hey, let me take care of you.”

“How ‘bout we sleep for a while? I’m beat.”

“You’ll sleep better if you get off first. It’s science.”

“Who told you that?”

“Matt,” Shiro said.

Keith remembered him from a couple parties at Shiro’s apartment—the guy who got drunk off of a Jell-O shot and cornered him for an hour to gush about ice. “It sounds like something Matt would say.”

He crawled under the covers and settled against Shiro’s left side, ordering down the lights. Shiro reached between Keith’s legs and tilted his head to kiss him.

“I've always wanted to do this,” Shiro whispered.

His hand was warm. It had been who-knows-how-long since Keith had last had sex and he could already feel a floating sensation throughout his body. He laughed. “Yeah, me too.”

“This will sound selfish, but thank you for not giving up on me. I can't think of anyone else I want beside me right now.”

Keith was kissing him as he came. And a long time after Shiro fell asleep, he stared at the sim window that displayed a sunset over the desert.

* * *

They quickly settled into a comfortable routine. Keith got up early every morning and slipped out of the room to shower. Shiro was usually awake when he came back, checking his messages or making synth in the in-wall machine. He met with someone from psych most mornings, and his physical therapy was in the afternoons. He'd kiss Keith goodbye once Keith got dressed for work, often walking him to the hospital before exploring the station. Within a couple of Earth weeks, he'd made friends with the Galrans who ran the food court from bringing Keith lunch on his way to therapy.

“How did you find someone so magnificent?” Lotor said the afternoon Shiro brought dessert for the ICU unit. “All of the aides want to run off with him. Would you let me try him just once?”

“I thought you had your eye on Allura?” Keith said.

“You're not going to spat with me today? How un-fun.” Lotor helped himself to a startling green confection Keith had been too nervous to try. “So what are you going to do when they ship him back home?”

“Go back to eating in the cafeteria.”

“Ah. So he really will leave?”

“Why wouldn't he leave?” Keith said, frowning.

“I _assumed_ ,” Lotor said, licking icing from his lips, “that someone who had found the love of his life across the universe might be inclined to stay there—or are you planning to return to Earth?”

Keith shook his head. “I'm planning to re-up.”

“Pity. You've finally stopped looking so miserable.”

Keith finished the pastry he’d been eating and pointed to the box. “You can have the rest. Take them home when you leave or give them to Romelle, okay? They're too sweet for me.”

“Does he know that?”

“What?” Keith said.

“That you don’t like them.”

“Why would I tell him that?”

Lotor fell into one of the two chairs in the break room, crossing his legs and arms and looking at Keith with raised eyebrows. His scrubs today were royal purple with a daring v-neck.

“Can I ask you something personal?” Lotor said.

“Nothing’s ever stopped you before.”

“You were running away from him, weren’t you? When you first came here. From the way you overworked yourself, it was obvious you were trying to forget about something. If you cared so deeply about him, why did you put the universe between you?”

Keith looked at the floor. “He had someone else back then.”

“And you didn’t want to hurt him by saying something.”

“Pretty much.”

“How has that worked out?”

Blinking, Keith took a deep breath. “Not so great.”

Lotor smirked. “You know, when I buy things for my lovers, I like to make sure it’s something they’ll adore.”

“Alright, I get it. I’ll say something next time.”

“Why don’t you use up some of that vacation time you have stockpiled and take your boyfriend on a romantic space cruise? If you need recommendations, I know the ones with the biggest beds.”

“And I’m going back to work now,” Keith said. “It’s been great talking to you.”

Lotor called after him in sing-song as he walked out of the room. “When you get tired of him, let me know!”

“Not happening.”

* * *

Shiro adapted to life with his new arm with the same eagerness Keith had seen him use when the Garrison integrated Altean technology. He made jokes when he moved his index finger instead of his thumb, or the time he activated the arm’s defense system by mistake and singed Keith's hair. Whenever Keith overheard him speaking with the higher ups or his family back on Earth, Shiro was always quick to put on a happy face like the one he'd worn in the bar the night they'd said goodbye.

But Keith sometimes caught glimpses of his real emotions, like when he surprised him by coming back from the shower early and pretended not to see Shiro crying while he looked at a picture of his crew. When they went out with his crewmates, something on the menu or a piece of conversation that drifted over from another table would chase the smile off of Shiro’s face, probably reminding him of things he didn’t want to think about. In those moments he looked worlds away. When they happened, Keith didn't say things like “You can talk to me” (Shiro knew that) or “Are you okay?” (he wasn't). He'd reach across the table for his hand, or crawl back into bed and pull Shiro against his chest.

* * *

The recovered members of the _Atlas_ crew were sent back to Earth on a supply ship, leaving Shiro as the last one on the station. When he returned from seeing them off, he stripped out of his uniform and flopped onto the bed, laying his head on Keith's lap.

“What do you want to do tonight?” he said.

Keith didn’t look up from the message he was writing to Hunk. “Yorak said the theater’s streaming new stuff if you want to check it out.”

“We could do that, or we could look at a bigger apartment?”

Keith's heart squeezed at the idea they would live together longer, but he shook his head. “If I give up this one, there's no guarantee I'll get it back after you leave.”

Shiro smiled and played with the hem of Keith’s shirt. “It was just an idea. A movie sounds good. What do you want to eat first?”

“Anywhere is fine.”

“You always say that.” Shiro sat up. “How come you let me have my way every time?”

It was like he could hear Lotor smirking. Keith averted his eyes. “If you want me to pick, let's do Altean,” he said. “Allura was telling me she knows the guy who runs the new place on level 5—says he's her uncle or something.”

Shiro looked at him doubtfully. “Will that make you happy?”

“I'm starving, so yeah.”

“So starving we should leave right _now_?” Leaning into Keith’s personal space, Shiro kissed his neck and Keith flushed.

“I didn't say that.”

“Good.” Shiro took off his shirt. “I'm supposed to practice squeezing things gently, and I thought of something I can practice on.”

“I don’t think that’s what they meant,” Keith said, laughing when Shiro pulled him onto his lap. “Your strength’s back, huh.”

“You want to try it standing?”

“Not right now.” Keith looped his arms around Shiro’s neck and shut his eyes.

Their lips touched and he lost his sense of time. He pressed himself as close to Shiro as he could, against the places where his skin had healed. The hesitation of the first time was a memory. He moved the way Shiro liked, and with his right hand, Shiro stroked him just fast enough not to be torture.

When he looked at Shiro again, the window that had shown a bright sky as he’d gotten home from work was the ink blue of twilight. Keith was slumped against his chest, half asleep.

“We missed the movie,” he said.

“I’d rather be alone with you, but you need to eat. Should we get dressed?”

“We’ve got protein shakes in the fridge. I don’t feel like getting up.”

Shiro kissed his forehead and got out of bed, coming back with two cans. “I can run down to the convenience store and get you something else.”

“Nah, this is good. Thanks.” Keith opened the can and drank half in a few gulps. The flavor could almost pass for chocolate. “I pretty much lived on this stuff the first two years. How’s your hand?”

Shiro flexed his metal fingers. “Good. Or do you think I ought to exercise it more?”

Keith laughed. “Let me rest for a few minutes.” He took another sip and nudged Shiro’s thigh with his foot. “Hey, have you ever been on one of those space cruises?”

“Like the ones that fly out by Taaujeer? I’ve thought about it, but I don’t know how I’d feel about someone else flying. Matt’s been on one and said it was a good time. Do you want to go on one?”

“I was just wondering. Lotor was asking me about them.”

“He should take that surgeon you said he likes. Oh, I forgot to tell you! I heard from the Garrison today.”

Keith told himself that the chill he felt throughout his body was from the cold protein shake. “Yeah? What’d they say?”

“They’re reviewing the ship’s logs. They’ll have an answer for me within a month.”

“Did they say when you’re going back?”

“Not yet. I don’t suppose...do you have any vacation time coming up? It might be nice if we went back together. You said you owe your dad a visit, and I’d like to say hi to him.”

“I have to request that kind of time off six months out.”

“Oh, right. I wasn’t thinking.” Shiro crawled back into the bed. “You never told me—how were those desserts I dropped off the other week? The guy who made them was asking me about it this morning.”

He was smiling against the pillow and looked so sincere, Keith didn’t have the heart to be honest.

“You’re a huge hit. I think Lotor ate half the box.”

“You keep mentioning him tonight.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Of course I’m jealous. He’s gotten to see you almost every day for five years. He probably knows all kinds of things about you that I don’t.”

“None of it’s glamorous, trust me.”

“Do you work tomorrow?”

Keith shook his head. “We could do something in the morning before your therapy.”

“What if I cancel and we spend the whole day in bed?”

“We can do that.”

“Is that what _you_ want?”

Keith could see what Shiro was trying to do. He finished his shake and reached over him to set the container aside. “I don’t need to get up early, so we can sleep in tomorrow,” he said, lying down. “Or did I already wear you out for the night?”

“How old do you think I am?”

“I’m just telling you what I want.” Keith slipped his knee between Shiro’s thighs. “Is that okay?”

“It’s okay,” Shiro said, rolling him over. “It’s definitely okay. Tell me anything you want me to do.”

“Turn off the light.”

Shiro did. “What else?”

“Look at me while we’re doing it.”

“I’m always looking at you.” Shiro nipped at his mouth.

“I know. I’m trying to say that I like it.”

“What else do you like?”

“Everything,” Keith said in the dark. “There’s nothing I don’t like about you.”

“There must be something.”

He shook his head. “I could never think of anything, not even when you were with him. I wasn’t mad when I didn’t hear from you. I was just…”

“Yell at me next time,” Shiro said, reaching between them.

Keith could just make out the shape of his eyes. Only a handful of nights like this remained before Shiro would leave, a finite number—he couldn’t say when that would be or how many were left, caught in the unknown that came with the certainty of an unseen end. Even where days had no name, time still passed. Lives passed. Shiro would leave the station. But Keith wasn’t unhappy. With a fingertip, he traced the outline of Shiro’s eyes.

“Keep looking at me,” he said.

* * *

The bedroom window was displaying winter in the desert when the call Shiro had been waiting for came through.

Keith, just home from a shift, went down the corridor to give him privacy, claiming he needed something from the convenience store. He lingered over three types of juice he didn’t end up buying, and sat at a table in the communal kitchen with a cup of synth that went cold.

A long call was probably good news. If they’d decided to strip his rank, they would’ve put him on a transport back to Earth first. This far away, it was tempting to desert, and the Garrison didn’t control the station. Shiro was an investment. If they were keeping him, they would get him onto the first available ship. For someone of his rank and training, they might even send one.

Keith tried to be happy for him. Shiro had talked about piloting deep space missions since the first time they’d met. That kind of life suited him: being in a new place every day, not living on a station that slowly rotated in the same point in space. He wouldn’t stay on Earth for long. Even if Keith went back with him, Shiro would be assigned a new command within a year, and Keith had no interest in serving on a ship.

He finished the synth and went back to his room. Shiro was sitting on the bed with the phone in his hands. He looked up when Keith came in.

“There you are. I’ve been trying to call you.”

“Sorry.” Keith patted down his pockets. “I must have my phone muted from work. What’d they say?”

“They want to run some tests once I’m back to make sure my arm’s software won’t interfere with a ship’s systems, but they’re not blocking me from flying.”

“That’s awesome.”

“There’s a Garrison ship not too far from here, the _Hyperion_. They’re having it change course to pick me up.”

“Do you have to wait long?”

“It’s docking here overnight.”

The ache in Keith’s chest was like being held underwater. It drained the strength from his legs; his body felt like it would drop. He leaned against the wall and flashed a casual smile. “The guys in the food court are gonna be sorry to see you go.”

“Hey, come sit with me for a minute.” Shiro held out a hand, but Keith shoved his into his pockets and dragged a foot along the floor.

“You don’t need to give me a speech. I’m happy for you, seriously.”

“Keith, I don’t want to end this. Being here with you has been one of the best parts of my life.”

“We can still talk. Maybe I’ll come back to Earth sometime when you’re on leave.”

“You’d be okay with that? Just seeing each other once in a while?”

“We both knew you weren’t staying here forever. They’re gonna put you on another ship, right? And you’ll have a designated course that probably won’t be near this sector. Isn’t it better to be realistic about it?”

Shiro considered that for a moment, flicking his thumbs together. “So what do you want to do?”

“Enjoy your last night here. Let’s get changed and go out.”

“Like last time?”

“Yeah, except we get to make out at the end of it.” Keith tossed a black shirt at him. “Wear this, okay? You look good in it.”

Shiro grinned. “Can I pick your clothes?” he said, which was more embarrassing than Keith would have thought.

“Sure,” he muttered and put on the jeans and leather jacket Shiro laid out.

* * *

They spent the evening at a two-top against the wall in the Spacebar. Shiro ordered a couple enormous Galran ales and they laughed through a fantasy Altean table game. News of Shiro’s impending departure had spread across the station. His phone lit up with messages all night. His physical therapist and half of the food court came to say goodbye, dropping by the table in groups to buy him a drink and request pictures. Keith plastered on a grin and played photographer. A little jealousy over sharing their last night was better than the feelings that would creep up on him once they were alone.

A couple hours in, Lotor strutted into the bar in fitted black pants with his hair loose, and drew most of the eyes in the room. On spotting Keith and Shiro, he ordered himself a luminescent orange martini and made himself their third.

“I haven’t played this in _ages_ ,” he said, squinting at the game board.

“Make yourself a character. We’re about to start our fourth round,” Keith said, slurping his ale through a straw. “Shiro keeps dying.”

“But I made it farther this last round,” Shiro said and stood up. “I’m getting another drink. Keith, you want another one?”

“I’m good.”

Keith wistfully watched him walk up to the crowded counter and signal the bartender. Lotor tapped a finger against his own cheek. “I’ve never seen you make that expression before. To be honest, it’s nauseating.”

“The Garrison’s sending a ship for him tonight.”

Lotor took a drink. “Wouldn’t it be incredible if we had some sort of means to travel between planets?”

“Have you asked Allura out yet?”

“I’ve challenged her to spar eleven times, but I don’t think she takes me seriously. Altean courtship is such a bore. Should I leave the two of you alone?”

“It’s fine. People have been coming by all night.”

They lapsed into silence. Lotor didn’t try to disguise that he was checking out people at adjacent tables. With a bored expression, he tapped his fingers against the side of his glass. “Did I ever tell you how my parents met?”

Keith covered a yawn. “I think that’s just about the only thing you haven’t told me.”

“The relationship between their worlds was strained. Altea had only recently begun working with Earth, you see, and my mother was stationed as a medical officer on one of their ships. They met when it visited Daibazaal. My father was a doctor there. He was from a strict, traditional family. They were drawn to each other immediately, but there was no way for her to stay there, and there had never been a Galran in the Garrison.”

“How’d they end up here?”

“They left everything behind and created this place—of course, they couldn't do it right away. It was many deca-phoebs before they had the means, but they were devoted to each other. And eventually, they had me.”

”Your advice is to run off and build a space hospital?”

Lotor took another drink. “Advice? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just sharing my life story.”

The laughter Keith let out was half a sigh. A few minutes later, Shiro came back with another ale.

“Sorry that took so long. Is it okay if this is the last round? I’m getting tired.”

“We can head up now if you want,” Keith said, starting to get up, but Shiro slid his chair next to Keith’s and focused on the game board.

“Lotor just got here, and I want to see if I can clear this level without dying. I’m really feeling good about it this time!”

In the end, only Lotor and Keith’s characters survived to reach the treasure room.

“Next time,” Lotor said, extending a hand in Earth fashion.

Shiro shook with his right. “Deal.”

They left Lotor at the table and held hands back to the residential ring. Shiro unlocked the door to the apartment and looked at the key card.

“Guess I should give this back to you,” he said.

Keith grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him hard. “Don’t,” he said. “I don’t want to think about it. Let’s just pretend it’s a normal night.”

Shiro let out a breath and touched the side of Keith's face. He shut off the light and Keith kissed him again, but it wasn't like the other times. No matter how he tried to slip into that nothingness, he couldn't forget that this was the last time. Every kiss, every touch—in a few hours, Shiro would leave and there wouldn’t be any more.

He stripped off his clothes and pressed him up against the wall. Shiro held him with his new arm, driving inside of him so deeply, Keith cried out.

“Again,” he said, breathless, digging his heels into Shiro's sides.

“You have work in the morning.”

“I don't care.”

Shiro carried him to the bed, laying him on his back.

“Hold onto my shoulders,” he said, bending Keith’s knees to his chest, and looked into his eyes. “I wish we could stay like this.”.

When Keith brought his hands to Shiro’s face, it was wet.

At some point they slept. Shiro’s head was on Keith’s chest, and Keith kissed his hair over and over to the rhythm of his watch.

* * *

The next morning, Shiro left the station.

Keith didn’t take the day off. He could’ve used a sick day—Lotor would have understood—but he couldn’t stand the thought of saying goodbye, then returning to the empty apartment where they’d spent their last night.

He dressed in flat blue scrubs and went with Shiro to the Garrison dock. The _Hyperion_ was a newer ship, built with the same technology as the _Atlas_ —the second to hybridize Altean and Earth technology. News of its launch had reached them on the station a couple of months after it departed Earth, but Keith had never seen the ship in person. Like the _Atlas_ had been, it was sleek and white—deceptively small at a glance. Keith stared at it inside the dock, looking like a white cat crouched down. The crew members had disembarked for the night and were ambling around the dock in the gray and orange uniforms Keith had worn as a cadet, and that Shiro had put on that morning.

The people who saw them together dismissed Keith as a hospital worker, crowding him out as they surrounded Shiro. Keith didn’t fight his way back to Shiro’s side, waiting a distance away for him to remember he was there. Eventually, Shiro turned to look for him and held out his hand.

“Do you want a tour of the ship?” he said, and putting a hand on Keith’s lower back, ushered him to the door. “Captain,” he said to the woman standing beside it.

She smiled. “Captain.”

“Do you mind if I show Keith the inside?”

She opened her mouth like she would protest. Keith said, “I’m a lieutenant” and flashed his digital credentials.

“Don’t take too long,” she said. “I’d like to depart in twenty-five minutes. The CO is doing a final crew headcount. A lot of them went to the bar last night.”

“We’ll be quick,” Shiro said and led Keith inside on a wave of curious whispers.

“They made some improvements based on what we learned from the _Atlas_ ,” Shiro was saying. “The life-support systems are independent by deck.”

He stopped speaking. Keith didn’t have to ask what he was thinking about. He nodded to a crew member who walked past them and saluted.

“Show me the med bay,” Keith said.

Shiro gave him a grateful look.

The med bay was a long room separated by partitions, with an operating room and convertible spaces to accommodate large numbers of patients in an emergency, and was equipped with Altean holographic tech capable of basic diagnoses if the medical team was occupied. In total, it was maybe half the size of the station’s ER.

“What do you think?” Shiro said. “Want to work in something like this?”

Keith stilled, understanding that Shiro was offering him a position on his next command. As captain, he’d have the power to recommend crewmembers, and no Garrison physician would turn down a nurse who’d survived five years on Sincline.

He imagined flying with Shiro to far-flung worlds, of spending every night in the same cabin. If they signed up for the mission together, the Garrison would grant them couples housing. They’d complete that mission and Shiro would take him on the next one. Within a decade they’d probably pass middle age on Earth with a desk job, or on a colony somewhere—maybe they’d even get a dog. He could see the three of them on a patio in the desert drinking beer and watching the sunset.

He took a deep breath.

“I decided I’d commit to five more years on the station,” he said. His voice was shaking. “It’s not that I don’t wanna be with you, but I love working here. There’s no opportunity to work with tech like they’re developing anywhere else in the universe, not even on a ship.”

Shiro looked like he’d expected that answer. He nodded slowly and let out a sigh. “They’re lucky to have you.”

Keith squeezed his hand. “I’d better go. I’ve got to clock in soon.”

“I’ll walk you out.”

“Is it okay if we say goodbye here?” Keith smiled even though he could feel his eyes welling up. “I really don’t want to make a scene.”

Taking both of Keith’s hands, Shiro held them between them. “I can’t…” He swallowed and wet his lips. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“Keep up the therapy, okay?”

Shiro gathered him in his arms. “I love you. I _love_ you. Promise me you’ll stay in touch.”

With all of his strength, Keith hugged him. “I love you too. Send me pictures of the places you visit.”

“I’ll let you know as soon as I’m out this way.”

“You’d better,” Keith said and patted his back.

“Keith…” Shiro tucked his face into Keith’s shoulder. “If I could stay here, would you want me to?”

Keith shut his eyes. “Yes,” he said. Tears rolled down his face. He gave Shiro a final squeeze and pulled back enough to kiss him. “Good luck out there.”

“You too. And thank you.”

Smiling, Keith dried his eyes. He took a final look at Shiro standing in the med bay, and with the same conviction that had made him close a door between them five years ago, he turned around and walked off of the _Hyperion_.

He held in his emotions from the dock across the station, making it all the way to the hospital before he couldn’t control them anymore. His legs gave out and he sank to the floor in the staff room, crying against his knees. He was sure they could hear him in the hallway. He couldn’t keep his voice down. It felt like something had been ripped out of him, worse than the last time they said goodbye.

Shiro sent a message just before the ship left the station. Keith read it but didn’t reply. Lotor found him in the dark a while later. Keith could tell it was him from the candy-sweet scent that followed him. Lotor sat on the tiles beside him and passed him a double espresso.

“Drinks after work?” he said, slurping something.

Keith nodded against his knees. He lifted his head and dried his eyes.

“Why didn’t you take the morning off?” Lotor said.

“I don’t really want to be by myself right now.”

“Are you able to work?”

“Yeah, just give me a couple of minutes.”

“Unfortunately, my mother hasn’t invented a regenerator for emotions. The only thing you can do is wait for them to pass.” Lotor sighed and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll call a few people. Why don’t we meet at the Spacebar after work? We’ll fill ourselves with stiff drinks and watch a few rounds of Galran wrestling.”

Keith tried to smile. “Sounds good. You should invite Allura. Tell her it’s a date. I’ll bet you a week of coffee she says yes.”

“Look at you with your broken heart, trying to play matchmaker.”

Their phones beeped at the same time. Lotor checked his first.

“What is it?” Keith said.

“An emergency ship is approaching. Five passengers in critical condition. And just when I was thinking the day might get boring. At least you won’t have time to be upset. You’d better drink that fast.”

* * *

Once his shift ended, Keith ran across the station to shower and change into something that wasn’t covered in slime. Working had cleared his head. He still felt miserable but hadn’t cried again since that morning.

Shiro had left the spare key card next to the bed. Keith put it in his wallet so he wouldn’t have to look at it, then stripped his clothing and headed for the shower. He hadn’t mentioned to Lotor that he’d be running home and could hear his phone ringing after he shut the door, but getting this stuff out of his hair took priority. It was like glue when it dried. Lotor could wait ten minutes.

Keith moaned when the hot water hit him and scrubbed his body until the lather didn’t come away magenta. His back was sore from a day on his feet and he could feel Shiro’s vigor from the night before. It would probably be gone by morning.

The phone was still ringing when he returned to his room. Lotor had likely assumed Keith had blown him off. Ignoring the phone, Keith found clean clothes and was looking in the mirror, wondering what to do with his hair, when there was a knock on the door.

“Lotor,” Keith yelled. “I’m not bailing on you. I got a face full of slime and wasn’t going out drinking like that.”

“It’s not Lotor,” someone said out of breath. For a split second, Keith thought it could have been Shiro's voice, but the _Hyperion_ had left the base nine hours ago. Lotor had probably sent someone to get Keith—one of the new nursing assistants who were so charmed by him, they hardly realized when he bossed them around. Keith gave up on his hair and opened the door.

“Sorry I didn’t call you guys first, but—”

Shiro was on the other side, bent over at the waist and panting.

“I took the stairs,” he said. “You’re right. That sucked.”

Keith stared at him in disbelief. “You left. What are you doing back on the station?”

“I've been trying to call you. I made them put me on a shuttle.”

“Is something wrong?”

Shiro shook his head. “I lied and said I thought my arm was malfunctioning. Do you think Dr. H would write me a note?”

Unsure what was going on, Keith kept his expression neutral. Other than being winded, Shiro appeared fine. “Lotor can probably get you one if you ask him nicely enough. You’re sure you’re okay?”

Nodding, Shiro stood up straight and dried his forehead with his sleeve.

“I knew as soon as the ship left that it was a mistake. The farther we got from here, the more I panicked wondering how I’d get back. I even thought about trying to stow away on one of the supply ships.”

Shiro’s laughter had a nervous edge. He pushed the dark hair back from his eyes.

“Keith, I don’t want to repeat the last five years, always wondering if I’ll ever get to see you again. I can’t be happy like that, not when I finally know what it’s like to be with you. So I guess what I’m saying is, can I come in? And do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

Keith was so shocked, he forgot how to speak. He stared at Shiro with an open mouth. Behind him in the apartment, his phone began to ring again.

“I’m…” he said, dazed. He motioned toward the sound of the phone. “I’m supposed to go drinking with some people, but I was disgusting after work and had to come home and shower. Sorry–did you just propose to me?”

Shiro smiled. “Do you want me to say it again?”

“But...what are you going to do about work?”

“I was thinking it might be good to pilot an emergency ship like the one that saved me. They approached me about it while I was living here. Flying so I can save people...I kind of like the idea of that.”

Keith blinked a few times. “You’re staying?”

“Unless the Garrison throws me in handcuffs and drags me back to Earth.” Shiro laughed again. “So. What do you think?”

Keith thought he might be dreaming, or that the slime had been hallucinogenic. But like an invisible wall between them had dissolved, he stepped forward and flung his arms around Shiro, pushing him up against the wall. The heat of his body told Keith this was real.

“Yes,” he said against Shiro’s mouth. “You can come in.”

Shiro held onto his waist. “And...the other part?”

“That too.”

The phone rang three more times while Keith welcomed him home. When he couldn’t stand the ringing anymore, he grabbed Shiro’s bag from him. “Wait here,” he said and went inside for his phone. He dropped the bag on the floor, shoved his phone in his pocket, and locked the door.

“Aren’t we going in?” Shiro said.

“Later.” Keith laid the spare key card in his palm. “Right now I kinda want to show you off. Do you mind?”

Smiling, Shiro offered his arm. “I’m gonna make it to the treasure room tonight.”

* * *

He lost every round anyway, despite Allura’s detailed tips. Keith didn't count how many rounds they played. He laughed under the weight of Shiro’s arm around his shoulders. Lotor promised to ask his mother about a letter if Keith would find him a package of the Earth food Allura wanted to try. And when Keith and Shiro finally went up to bed, the heaviness that had followed them for months stayed on the other side of the door.

They lay looking at each other in the dark. Shiro couldn’t stop touching him. “I know I just left this morning, but it feels like longer.”

Somehow, Keith understood what he meant. His eyes felt heavy; he let them close. “See you tomorrow?” he said.

“Tomorrow, the next day, the one after that. I’ll be here until you get sick of me.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.”

Shiro kissed him. “Good.”

On Keith’s next day off, they signed on a new apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> Please [see the art by paintstrokes on Twitter](https://twitter.com/HerPaintstrokes/status/1276605515435511810)!
> 
> Thank you to Synne for the twitter conversation a while back that inspired this fic (and for helping me come up with a title at the last minute); to Maria for beta reading; to Beth for creating the art to go with it; and to my sister, who will never see this note, but who wrote me an essay's worth of nursing details that I worked into this fic. 
> 
> This is probably my last sheith fic, so I want to say thanks for having me in the fandom. ♥ I RT a lot of danmei fanart [on Twitter](https://twitter.com/museawayfic) if you're into that!


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